I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
