i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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