I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
