a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
