Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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