yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
