Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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