I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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