Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
