You really coming over, don't trick.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
