His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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