someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
