We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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