i think my tv is drunk
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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