I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think pants incapable of making pants work
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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