come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
