So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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