She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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