i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
