i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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