I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
