we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
