You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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