I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
