This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize