Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
