I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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