After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize