friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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