Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
