I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
