I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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