It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
