Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize