A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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