Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You were trust falling into bushes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
