If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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