ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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