I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
