you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
