I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
