I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
