He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
