Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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