I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
