I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
