Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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