I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's never too late to be topless.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
