How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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