And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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