i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
