I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize