Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize