apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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