im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷