i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.