I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.