i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me