Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
