I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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