i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
